SiriusXM: Still Not Ready For Prime Time

Demonstrating yet again that SiriusXM's promotions and marketing departments don't know their heads from a hole in the ground,  last night's "silver-platter" advertising opportunity on NBC's hit Summer show "America's Got Talent" (AGT) was unsurprisingly squandered.

"Ponderous" is the word that came to mind as I watched last night's season premiere of AGT fearlessly with my 6 year old daughter by my side. For many months now as I have viewed promo after promo for AGT each one heavily featuring SiriusXM's crown jewel, Howard Stern on their T.V. commercials, web-shorts, banner-ads, billboards and twitter mentions, I wondered what exciting new commercial SiriusXM would develop in order to capitalize on the hype generated by NBC's bank-roll.

I sat through the first commercial break... No SiriusXM commercial? "No big deal" I thought "They're probably waiting for the second commercial break to catch the late-comers." Second break, no commercial, "Hmmm, this is a familiar feeling... Something is wrong here." As the third commercial break came and went without a SiriusXM commercial, I thought to myself, "Why am I acting surprised?" SiriusXM has never once promoted their products effectively outside of a car showroom, and even then it's probably just an after thought "Thanks for purchasing your car from our dealership! Here's your keys and please drive careful... SCREEEEECH!! Oh yeah I almost forgot... Your car comes with a free 6 month subscription to... Where did you go? Oh well, yet another successful sale at a dollar over invoice... Good work Johnson."

The night proved to be a huge success for NBC and Howard Stern as millions tuned in to witness what The Parents Television Council had been warning them about. As it turns out, Howard Stern (a veteran broadcasting professional with 35 years of announcing experience) proved to be a heart-warming delight to the surprise of no-one, except possibly a vocal minority of closed-minded "offended-at-birth" types, other elitist obscenity alarmists, and their morally superior sisters of the "Culturally Unsuitable Naughty Thoughts Society."

I am now 100% sure that if SiriusXM continues into the future and remains relatively successful, it will be in spite of themselves. I even had this sobering thought last night, "If SiriusXm isn't interested in gaining new subscribers by informing the public that they indeed exist and scalping some viewers from NBC, and since I subscribed to SiriusXM to be entertained by the "no-longer exclusive" content created by Howard Stern, why don't I cancel my subscriptions and watch Howard on NBC!"

Bottom line: SiriusXM is clue-less, they have a great product, but they just don't care to tell anyone about it. They are not unlike the Dad who takes pride in the awesome Star Wars action figure that remains un-opened and in its original box that he has owned for many years and long before his children were born. Year after year the toy sits motionless in a hermetically sealed display case in his room. Although it occasionally catches the eye of his children passing by his room on their way to the back yard, it no longer beckons to them... "come play with me." The jilted kids simply decide to leave it alone and decide rather to go to the neighbors house where they are encouraged to "play" with "toys" labelled as "action figures." Shame on you Dad... You obstinate fool!

Howard wishes Sirius had gotten involved w/ his America's Got Talent gig. The promotions people should b all over it but they're ignoring it

— Stern Show (@sternshow) May 15, 2012

Howard On NBC: Will SiriusXM Become "Eh-Eh-Eh" Again?

Many Stern fans will remember the day of the "yuge" announcement back in 2004 when Howard Stern informed his listeners that he would be moving his #1 terrestrial radio show to Sirius Satellite radio in January of 2006. At the time, Howard (The King Of All Media and The King Of All Media Hype) began mentioning "Sirius" so often that he was soon told by management to stop using the word on all terrestrial broadcasts. Howard being a man of his word ceased saying "Sir-i-us" opting instead for the multisyllabic essence of the word, and ultimately replacing it with "Eh-Eh-Eh."

Currently, Howard Stern has been cranking the hype-machine back up in support of his much publicized Judgeship on the wildly popular NBC show America's Got Talent which debuts tonight, Monday May 14th at 8:00EST. Many Stern fans have been voicing their displeasure over what they feel is his relentless coverage of his experiences on A.G.T. while broadcasting on SiriusXM. Howard has not been instructed to stop saying "America's Got Talent" on SiriusXM's broadcasts, due largely to the fact that he is currently employed by both entities, and it should prove to be beneficial to both employers.

I will be watching tonight to see how Howard performs as a judge, (I am confident he will be exceptional) but I will also be watching to see if SiriusXM runs any advertising and if Howard mentions the word "SiriusXM" on NBC's air waves. I believe if neither an Advertisement nor a "SiriusXM" mention occurs tonight, it will be a significant signal that Howard has indeed found a new mistress in NBC, and that the "old-lady" at home (Namely SiriusXM) will have to deal with being his second choice as she stomps around in her frumpy housecoat and muttering to herself "I don't care... As long as he comes back home to me in the morning, I'll just lie to myself and look the other way."

If things go really well tonight and Howard mentions SiriusXM several times, I will be interested in seeing if NBC insists on the word "SiriusXM" becoming "Eh-Eh-Eh" once more. One sure fire way for SiriusXm to remain "mentionable" on NBC will be if SiriusXM becomes a legitamate AGT advertiser. I will update this article after tonight's premier. Stay tuned!